Blonde hair rocks
by EroLyin
Summary: Naruto's destructive cousins come to live with him and humor ensue, though what would you expect from Naruto's relatives?
1. The madness begins

First up this is our first stories so please don't burn my house down with your flames and please review.

Disclaimer: Naruto and everything related to it belongs to masashi kishimoto, we only own the ocs.

Erolyin - im lyin the batshit crazy one

Hichisan – and im hichi ask your momma who I am.

Erolyin – so who's the idiot and who's sadistic?

Hichisan – read and find out dammit.

Erolyin – review and screw u hichi!

…

(Strangling sounds)

…

Chapter 1

LYINS P.O.V

I was having one weird ass dream; I was dreaming I was pissing. I mean how the fuck did I end up dreaming I was pissing? What was even crazier was the fact that the dream felt so life like. I actually felt like I was pissing and oddly enough I felt something wet trickling down my leg. Ok hold up a moment…what the fuck was that clicking sound and who the hell was laughing. Ignoring all of this cause I was sleepy as a motherfucker.

"Stop changing channels I'm tryna sleep" I muttered stupidly, assuming the noise was coming from the TV in my room.

Wait a minute…my eyes flew open revealing my eldest brother Bakaru standing there laughing his ass off camera and all. Why was my sheet soggy? Again ignoring this, I shouted at the top of my lungs:

"Dude what the fuck are you doing in my room?

"…."

"Why the fuck do you have a camera?"

"…."

"Why the fuck is my hand in warm water?" I mean really? Really? I'm noticing this now? Anyways.

"You're dead you blonde haired motherfucker"(ignoring the fact that I was blonde as well )

"You gotta catch me first lyinny boy"

"No need" I said pointing at the door cause at that moment my twin, Hichi, came in his face contorted with rage. At first I thought he came in just to find out what the commotion was about, he's not a morning person and if I was the reason he woke up the fact that he was the younger and more calm of the two of us wouldn't matter when he was beating the living crap outta me. Luckily his pants were wet too so I wasn't the only one bakaru pranked. We were 17 and he was 23 but that wasn't gonna change the fact that he was gonna get his ass kicked. He tried to run but we cornered him near the stairs and beat him to a pulp. I did a feint and he screamed, very loudly I might add. Hichi took the camera , went through the pictures yanked the memory card out and broke it no one needed to know about this. We got up leaving bakaru looking like he was just in a traffic accident. We went into our rooms showered , changed and went downstairs for breakfast passing bakaru on the stairs it looked like he had passed out from the pain at some point, the dumbass.

END P.O.V

"Morning mom, dad." Hichi and Lyin chorused together.

"Good morning boys where's your brother?" Misato and Kagura Namikaze asked their sons.

"He's momentarily incapacitated. "They said sharing a look.

"Okay, but before you eat I want to know who was screaming out curse words about 20 minutes ago?" their dad Misato asked, he asked but his eyes were affixed on Lyin, he already knew he just needed confirmation.

"It was Lyin" Hichi pointed out.

"Snitch"

"How many times have I told you, you need to carry yourself in an appropriate manner? You are a Namikaze one of the most prestigious Japanese families in the world, but instead you… "

Lyin was rolling his eyes and his mother hit him in the head with a slice of toast.

"Insist on being a smart ass" Misato finished for her.

".. it with me a merry ca. "

"Do you want me to reach over this table and smack the respect into you?" Misato asked.

"No"

"Good you're grounded 2 weeks."

Lyin just sighed.

"By the way why was Bakaru screaming like a baby" their mother Kagura inquired.

Lyin quickly spotted a way to get some payback on Hichi for snitching on him.

"Because Hichi beat him up"

"Why"

"For no reason at all"

"I'm sure there was a reason"

"Nope none at all" Lyin said determined to let Hichi take the fall.

Hichi just sat there eating his breakfast.

"Well I doesn't matter you guys fight all the time and nobody ever gets really hurt."

Lyin's jaw dropped and Hichi sent a smirk his way.

"Unfreaking believable he says a couple swear words it's a big deal but beating up his brother is okay?"

Lyin thought to himself.

"By the way who named him Bakaru isn't baka Japanese for idiot?" Hichi asked.

"Since it's your fault I believe you should tell them." their mom told their dad giving him a stern look.

"okay "he said smiling sheepishly. "It all started a couple of years back" their dad began in a type of storyish voice.

Flashback

A 21 year old Misato and his younger brother a 20 year old Minato were having drinks. They were rowdy

young men and used to get into squabbles very often. That night they had decided to write a contract and neither of them wanted to sign first.

So they began engaging each other in small talk.

"Yo, Minato, that Uzumaki girl was checking you out, the Kushina one." Misato said referring to the party they had just come from.

"Her cousin Kagura was checking you out too." Minato replied

"yea I got her number."

"I got Kushina's already"

"No one can say you ain't my brother." at this they high fived and started laughing.

"Okay back to the contract, the first one who has a son will have to name him…."

"Name him what?"

"Quiet, I'm thinking, baka"

"I got it!" they both exclaimed together.

"BAKARU!" they shouted

"So how about you sign first"

"No you"

"No you"

END FLASHBACK

"Eventually we both signed it." Misato finished his story.

"Okay not that that makes sense but what were the terms? Just to name your son bakaru?" Lyin inquired.

"The terms were if I didn't hold up my end I'd forfeit my share of the inheritance."

"Oh" the twins mouthed.

"Then why didn't you just wait for uncle minato to have a son first?"hichi asked.

"Simple I thought my first child would have been a girl. Oh and did I mention we were drunk of our asses

when we made that contract." the last part he mumbled under his breath.

"You were right." lyin muttered so only hichi heard.

Hichi started snickering.

"Now I have something important to tell you guys" misato said with a serious expression.

"Shoot" lyin said.

"You're going to japan." He said this with some hesitation.

"When" they asked surprised.

"Today at 6"he answerd

"What! How can you just spring something like that on us? Its summer vacation we had plans, I mean…"

Lyin trailed off.

''I know, that's why I waited till today to tell you if I had told you sooner you would've found a way to

miss the plane by sleeping over at someone's house or something along those lines."

They nodded in agreement, this was a common occurrence.

"So why won't you let us finish our senior year here." Lyin began.

"Wait. Does that mean lyins grounding is called off?" hichi asked

Both lyin and his dad had completely forgotten.

"Oh yeah, I'll have to call minato and make sure lyin serves his grounding."

Lyin turned to hichi his temple throbbing, anger written all over his face. He mouthed the words" I'll

Get you for that."

Hichi wasn't a man who was easily scared and when he was he wouldn't show it but there was one give

away for when he was and that was the slight twitching his right eye was doing right now.

"Oh yeah lyin I didn't say you'd be spending senior year in Japan." their dad said.

Hichi stopped twitching to say" even lyin noticed we would be staying there for a while"

"Yeah even I noticed….wait, was that an insult?"

"No." hichi said sarcastically.

"You guys are more clever than I give you credit for, you'll be staying with your uncle minato for a while

So I suggest you start packing and contact your friends. Oh and please make the best of this. "with this he got up and left. The twins noticed that sometime during their talk their mom must have left.

"The plane leaves at 6 and the drive is about an hour long so we should leave around 4:30."hichi told lyin

"Yeah"

"By the way how are we gonna break the news to kizuku."

Kizuku was the twins best friend, he too was from japan and from a very respectable family,the tsukira family. They had been friends since they were 5 and had become like brothers.

Lyin didn't get to answer that question because his phone started ringing.

You're a dime

So beautiful

Top of the line

So unusual

Words can't define

Running through my mind all day day

"Dude its kizuku" lyin said throwing the phone at hichi.

Hichi put the phone on speaker and put his hand over it so kizuku couldn't hear.

"Your ringtone is gay by the way"

Lyin ignored this.

Hichi answered and proceeded to say as bluntly as possible.

"Dude we're moving to japan and might not see you for a couple of years.

"….."

"….."

"….."

"Are you crying?"

"n-no I j-just got sand in my eyes t-that's all."he replied his voice quivering

"you should seriously stop wearing those skin tight jeans, just because people mistake you for a girl doesn't mean you should act like one" lyin stated.

"Wait don't you have an aunt and uncle living in japan?"hichi asked

N-n-no the-the live in n-now."

"St lucia? Where's that?" hichi asked

"It's in the Caribbean, duh, dumbass and I thought you were supposed to be the smart one."

"Ignoring sucks."

"But come to think of it" kizuku began his voice steady now." my grandparents do live in konoha."

"Well that's convenient." Lyin stated

"Hmmm. Konoha isn't that where uncle minato lives? Wait where is that exactly?"hichi asked.

"Duh, it's between Suna and Kiri." lyin stated flatly.

"Alright dude, seriously that know it all thing you got going on there, stop it you're creeping me out."

"You're just jealous"

"But anyway man you should ask your parents to go that way we can still hang out but our flight leaves at 6.

"I pack quick don't stress yourself man"

"Yeah yeah, just hurry our seats are first class."

"Okay later"

"Yeah later"

"Wait my parents just came in lemme ask em."

"Okay"

After about 20 seconds kizuku came back.

"I can't believe it man they said no. "

"Bummer"

"I know right"

"Well we gotta pack so later"

"Yeah later" kiziku stated but he didn't seem too upset, hichi noted, as he hung up.

"Well let's get packing" hichi said."By the way, lyin."

"Yeah?"

"Are we getting sent to japan without a legit reason?"

"Yup"

"Okay then"

"Wait dude we're leaving so?"

"So?"hichi inquired.

"Well what are you gonna do about…well you know."

"Spit it out man."

"Suzanne"

As soon as the word left lyins mouth hichi dropped the phone his eye twitching again. "oh shit." he muttered and ran upstairs.

Lyin bent down to pick up his phone and heard a door slam.

"What the hell?" he asked no one in particular and started walking up the stairs.

When he got to hichis room he slowly opened the door and peered in.

Lyins P.O.V

I look in, is that hichi? Is he kneeling? What's he looking at, where'd that big ass picture of Suzanne come from and what is it doing on his wall and why didn't I notice it before now? Anyway, what the? Is he crying? Oh my god that snobbish little prick is actually crying, the dude is supposed to be just like me, he plays for life, he has like 6 other girlfriends. I should probably help him he looks upset.

End P.O.V

"Hichi" lyin called

"Dude I'm not gonna see her for god knows how long."

"C'mon man you have like 6 other girls"

"But she was the one"

"Yeah one of the many bitches you've toyed with."

Like one of those creepy horror movies hichi slowly turned his head towards lyin who seemed to teleport behind the door and was slowly closing it. Too late, before it closed hichis hand shot through and grabbed his neck.

"Is this a joke to you, cuz this is my life you little prick." hichi said in a menacing voice.

Lyins eyes began darting from left to right trying to think of a way out of this situation, suddenly he pointed behind hichi and shouted.

"Dude bakaru's messing with your psp."

Hichi turned around quickly but was only greeted with lyin slamming his room door shut and locking it securely .Lyin knew him too well if there was one thing he really liked it was his games.

"llllyyyyyiiinnnn" he roared banging on the door with all his might.

"Really dude you think banging on the door will make me open it?"

"uhhh"

"Just calm down"

"I will not calm down!"

"Please?"

"You think saying please will make me calm down?"

"Touché. And yes I do."

"Well it's not."

"Damn."

Hichi starts banging even harder.

"Okay, listen."the usual joking tone was not in his voice this caused hichi to calm down a little.

"Man I have to tell you no one else likes Suzanne mom and dad won't say it but they think she's bad for you and I do too."

"gimme 3 good reasons why I should."

"Fine. One, she's a crazy jealous psycho bitch I mean who doesn't want a guy to talk to his teachers or his mom, I mean c'mon his freakin' mom. Two, she's crazy obsessive I mean she calls you every 10 minutes. " At that moment hichis phone started ringing across the hall. "Right on time." lyin said flatly.

"lyin" hichi began.

"Three I bet she's the one who made you put up that picture of her in the first place."

"…"

"exactly." lyin finished.

"Fine" hichi said dejectedly.

He went to his room and started packing leaving lyin to do the same.

Hichi finished packing in about an hour and his dad entered.

"hichi I have something to admit."

"Shoot."

"One of the reasons I'm sending you to Japan is to get you away from that crazy ass girl."

"Which girl?"

"The suzie one."

"What is with you guys and suzane"

"She's just bad…"

Hichi cut him off "lyin already told me all this"

"Oh, did you kill him?"

"No but I tried."

"Okay. On to the next matter which car do you want?"

"The bmw."

"Alright I'll have it sent for you. By the way do you know which one your brother might want?"

"The mustang."

"Okay .but in any case let's go ask him."

They entered lyins room; he had 7 suitcases on a side already packed. They noticed several of his posters had already been taken down and his skateboards were still on the wall, his dad would send those with the cars. lyin was laying awkwardly with his head in his eighth case and his butt in the air his father immediately pulled out his blackberry and started taking pictures motioning for hichi to do the same he was surprised to see hichi snapping away on a digital camera apparently he went to get his camera as soon as he saw lyin.

"Should we wake him up now?"

"Hang on dad I need to take a few more."

"Okay okay we need to get you guys to the airport."

"Alright."

"But just for the fun of it lets mess with him one more time."

"I'm all ears" hichi replied.

Lyins P.O.V

I was having a weird as dream. I was dreaming I was pissing…..wait this happened before. I immediately jumped out of the suitcase …I fell asleep in there? No that's not the point my pants were wet and my hand was once again in warm water.

.DEAD.

Hichis P.O.V

I'm just leaving my room and I see lyin running down the hallway, his pants are wet.

"Mission accomplished."I mutter to myself.

He passes me and turns to bakarus door before literally kicking it down and rushing in. I hear a"lyin what the hell?" and a "your dead motherfucker!" then I hear muffled screams and maniacal laughter. Is lyin trying to kill bakaru with a pillow? Well its bakarus ass and that has nothing to do with me.

End P.O.V

As hichi turned to enter his room his dad came up the stairs.

"What's going on?"

"lyins trying to kill bakaru with a pillow."

"He thinks he did it?"

"Yep."

"Well hurry before he kills bakaru."

Hichi reluctantly went but after a couple of minutes they managed to pry lyin off of a terrified bakaru while sharing looks which meant I think we went a bit too far. After that the rest of the day was pretty uneventful with the guys just spending their time lounging around the house. They had a van drop their luggage off at the airport and ate and at 4:30 they got into their dads rolls Royce and were on their way to the airport. lyin had his laptop, he switched it on.

Hichi watched him and asked what he was doing.

"Emily, Jennifer, Jessica, Bianca, Brianna, Lisa, penny, Gabrielle and Nicole. "he whispered he didn't want his parents hearing this convo.

"Finally gonna tell em?"

"Yep."

"Good luck, and by the way aren't gabrielle and Jennifer friends?"

"Yep."

"Carry on then."

Lyin emailed the girls telling them he was about to leave the country for good, he sent them all the same message "sorry babe but I'm leaving the country for good and I don't know if I'll ever see you again." and at the end he put their names. They all emailed him back almost immediately saying the same thing "I'll miss you." but apparently gabrielle didn't reply, no sweat she'd see it later. His phone rang.

When you were standing in the wake of devastation

When you were standing on the edge of the unknown

"Nice to see you changed your ringtone." hichi commented

Lyin sneered and answered his phone "yo."

"Hey it's gabrielle."

"Hey whats up I just sent you a message."

"Yeah I just read it but the funny thing is I read it on Jennifer's computer. Could you explain that to me cuz I'm a bit confused."

"…"

"Lyin?"

"I'm sorry the number you have dialed is currently unavailable please try again later."

"lyin I know it's you."

"dot , dot , dot."

"lyin!"

"dot , dot , dot."

"lyin I swear if you don't ans…"

She was cut off by lyin hanging up the phone. He looked up and everyone was giving him a wtf look. That was lyin you never understand the shit he does. His phone rings again.

"yo"

"Hey lyin it's jennifer"

"Hey jen"

"So why did you hang up on gabrielle" she began but he cut her off.

"Me no speako no english" he said with a fake Mexican accent then hung up.

He looked up and was once again given the wtf look. Hichi asked him what happened and he whispered it to him , hichi just laughed.

"Well we're here" misato said after about an hour of driving.

"bakaru, boys get your carry ons."

"Bakaru?"The boys asked in unison. Bakaru was coming too. They both balled their hands into fists and shook them in the air shouting.

"Nnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooo!"

"Stop being drama queens and lets go"their mom said.

Lyin put away his laptop; they bid their farewells and were off to board the plane. They went to first class and took their sits hichi pulling out his psp and lyin his ipod. After a few minutes someone their age walked in he was about 5'8 the same as the twins ,with jet black hair instead of blonde like the twins in a ponytail just like lyin and brown eyes unlike the twins' blue ones.

"Sup kizuku "lyin said when he noticed the person .

Hichi looked up from his game.

"Sup guys and bakaru." Bakaru just sneered.

"Yo kizuku I thought you weren't coming"

"well let's just say my parents had a change of heart."

"I knew you were lying from the way you spoke" hichi stated.

"Well nothing escapes you hichiboy." he said this seating down next to lyin

"So did you dump all those girls?"

"Yup did you?"

"Yeah"

"That means we gotta look for some new girls, sexy Japanese girls."

"You got that right. Oh and by the way,"he leaned closer and whispered," Did hichi break it up with Suzanne?"

"You know I didn't really ask him but I think he did."

"I hope he did, I hate that chick."

"Me too."

A couple of hours into the flight lyin was awakened by a steward gently pushing kizuku. It wasn't the sound that woke him but the steward was pushing kizu onto him, he got up turned around and fell asleep.

Kizuku was sleeping away until that god damn steward had come to wake him up; apparently he wanted to know if he wanted something to eat. He turned and saw lyin sleeping with his headphones still on, kizu reached over and turned off the ipod. He saw bakaru sleeping and surprisingly hichi was still engrossed in his game, the battery on his psp 3000 had long since died and he was now playing his psp go and that damn steward was still asking him if he wanted anything to eat or drink.

"You sure you don't want anything to eat sir?"

"Yes"

"Anything to drink?"

"No"

God damn it this dude was persistent.

"You sure…"kizuku cut him off.

"Noo!" he shouted, everyone looked at him, even lyin, hichi was still engrossed in his game. Kizuku got up and went to the bathroom he entered closed the door to take a leak. Knock knock someone was knocking on the door.

"its occupied."

Knock knock

"Goddamnit there's someone inside!"

"I know" came a woman's voice. She said this quite seductively. "now close your eyes and open the door. "

Kizu obliged.

The owner of the voice entered and immediately attached themselves to kizu, fondling him all over, it felt good but this chick needed a serious manicure her hands were rough but forgetting that he wanted to get some action he moved to grope her chest…..nothing…..his eyes shot open an what he saw was a man and that mans tongue was in his mouth, it was that damn steward, he let out a blood curling scream, pulled up his pants and ran out screaming.

"Hentai, hentai, that man is impure and unclean hentai I say." He screamed running past a surprised lyin and bakaru, hichi was more concerned about his game.

It took lyin 15 minutes to calm him down and he related his story to a stewardess, the stewardess assured him that the steward would be dealt with when they touched down and he was given a full refund. He was still a bit shaken up however.3 hours later they landed in konoha international.

After clearing their luggage and going through customs they proceeded to the exit and immediately found the people there to pick them up, I mean how could they not with that spikey blond hair they shared and naruto was screaming "over here!" they proceeded towards them.

The twins and bakaru bowed greeting "nice to see you again oji san, naruto." kizuku bowed as well and greeted"nice to meet you namikaze san, naruto san."

"Nice to see you again too." naruto and minato replied.

"You must be kizuku."Minato stated looking at kizuku.

"Hai."he was still a bit shaken and was watching minato suspiciously , he would be wary of other males now.

"Your grandparents are my neighbors and they asked me to drop you off." minato said trying to smile. What was with this kid he was just eyeing him like he was gonna rape him or something.

"So whats up hichi and lyin."naruto asked.

"Nun much how about you? You still the same baka?" lyin asked.

"Nah and last I checked it was your brother who was the baka."

"True he's a baka in name but you're a baka in, well, everything else."

Minato turned it had only been 5 seconds since they had reunited and already naruto and lyin were going at it like always. Those boys, he shook his head he helped move all thier luggage to a van he had waiting outside. He came back to the twins, their friend was still eyeing him suspiciously, and where the hell was bakaru.

"lyin."

Lyin was still arguing with naruto and couldn't hear.

"lyin!"He said a bit louder, the boys were already starting to work up a nerve good thing he and his brother had the whole thing worked out.

Lyin was still arguing.

"lyin!"He said louder than the second time.

Still no reply.

"LYIN!"He shouted.

"Yo."Lyin said turning.

Minato's eye twitched "Where's your brother?"lyin turned and pulled hichi closer.

"Here he is."lyin said flatly.

Minato turned and banged his head against a pillar, he turned back"I mean bakaru."

"Oh,"lyin said "He was behind….."He turned and didn't see bakaru. "Oh umm well I don't know."

Minato turned and repeated the banging.

Hichi's game finally died.

"Hey uncle minato why're you banging your head against the pillar?"He asked finally back to the real world.

"Cause your brothers an idiot."

"Which one?"

"Both."

"What did they do?"

"Bakaru is missing and lyin and naruto are arguing over nonsense."

"Bakaru's not missing he's over there talking to a girl." he said pointing.

Minato and lyin turned and saw him and lyin immediately had an idea.

"Hey kizu come here a moment."

Kizu did.

They began to talk but whatever lyin said pissed him off because their conversation ended with kizu walking away and lyin shouting "Fine, I don't need you I can do it on my own."

Kizu walked over to hichi.

"What did he want?"hichi asked.

Kizu whispered to him and hichi couldn't stop grinning.

Lyin walked over to bakaru, threw his hand around his neck and said in the gayest voice possible.

"Hey honey."

Bakaru turned.

"lyin what the…"

"Who's this bitch?" lyin asked.

"I know you're not talking about me." the girl responded.

"Yes I am you're the bitch who's trying to put the moves on my man."

"Oh so you're gay, that explains a lot." The girl said looking to bakaru.

"I – I – I – I – I "bakaru stuttered at a loss for words.

"Its kinda weird you're a couple and you both are so alike." she started "but anyways you won't need this anymore." She took a piece of paper from bakaru's hand and tore it.

"later." and with that she walked away.

"You better run bitch!"lyin shouted.

The girl came back and started taking off her earrings. Lyin ran for his life, he ran to and hid behind hichi with a speechless bakaru following.

"Well now that we're all here let's get going" Minato stated."Hey bakaru wanna drive?"

"I – I – I – I – I "he was still stuttering.

"Guess not."minato said.

Hichi and lyin were anxious to see what their uncle drove; he was rich so they knew it was something cool. kizu on the other hand didn't even wanna be near minato and was glaring at any male who walked too close to him. Naruto was jumping with joy he couldn't wait till the twins met his friends. Bakaru was still stuttering.

Lyins P.O.V

We're walking towards the parking lot to uncle minato's car; I wonder what type of car it is. Uncle minato stops and points at a car. A Rolls Royce. What is with these guys and Rolls Royce? To top it off the freaking thing was lavender colored. Why the hell did he have a lavender colored rolls Royce IN JAPAN. Wait where's Hichi? The bastard was already sitting in the car like nothing happened, what the hell is wrong with him? Is he blind? I made my face as serious as possible and asked minato a serious question.

"Uncle minato are you…..are you….a PIMP?"

As soon as the question left my mouth naruto and minato erupted with laughter "no, no"Naruto managed to cough out while laughing.

"This is moms car."

"That's even worse."This time it was bakaru who spoke he was thinking along the same lines as I was.

I open the door and enter, oh my god , this car had a leather interior and it was purple. It was affirmed I was officially mind fucked and the bright color had raped my eyes right out of their sockets

END P.O.V

The drive to the namikaze residence took about an hour. The twins had slept through it and when they woke up kizi wasn't there.

"We dropped him off already" naruto stated.

He didn't even say goodbye. Why,why,why! lyin shouted.

Naruto and minato gave him a wtf look. His ranting woke hichi, uh oh, too late, hichi had punched him in the jaw and got out of the car. He forgot about hichis problem with being woken up.

Their luggage had already been delivered to the house so they entered. They saw a pretty woman with long red hair. Like their mom's.

"we're back mom"naruto told the woman.

She was kushina, naruto's mother and minato's wife. The boys politely bowed and greeted her.

"Nice to see you again kushina san."they said

"it's nice to see you boys again as well." She said smiling at them.

Lyin yawned.

"You boys must be tired. Karen!"

A young brunette woman with green eyes came into the room.

"Yes ma'am."

"Can you please show the boys to their rooms?"

"Right away" she motioned for them to follow her."

"Wait" bakaru stated "I'm supposed to be staying at dad's old place across the street."

"Yes, but the renovations aren't done so you'll stay here for a couple of days" minato replied.

"Oh, okay." he replied and followed the maid.

Karen showed them to their rooms and they all fell asleep as soon as their head touched their pillows.


	2. Shitty introductions

Disclaimer: Naruto and everything related to it belongs to masashi kishimoto, we only own the ocs.

Erolyin – I'm back bitches!

Hichisan – lyin I have a headache, please this chap was posted like 10 minutes after the first so what the hell are you talkin about.

Erolyin- Screw you hichi. Can't a guy be happy he's getting famous.

Hichisan- no offense but this story sucks ass.

Erolyin- screw you hichi.

Hichisan- I'm just stating the truth

Erolyin- So was your momma last night.

Hichisan- She's your mom too you dumbass!

Erolyin- But you're older so it stings more when applied to you.

Hichisan- …

(Strangling sounds and muffled screams)

Hichisan-review.

….

Chapter 2

The next morning the maid entered the boys' rooms to get them for breakfast. She went to bakarus room first, apparently he hadn't even made it to the bed he was asleep on the rug she woke him and told him about breakfast. Then hichi she opened his door but he was already awake. Finally lyin, she entered his room and saw him. He had a bruise on his head and apparently he too was sleeping on the floor. 'what was with these boys and the floor. Really you would think the bed was more comfortable' the maid thought.

Flashback

Lyin woke up at about 2 in the morning. He really had to pee, he was really tired and could barely keep his eyes open, he walked as if he was going to the bathroom at his house but ran into a wall. It took him a whole five minutes to realize he was on the ground and he would've stayed there but he really had to pee so he got up and after a minute found the bathroom. When he finished he went back to his room but before he could get back to the bed he lost consciousness and fell to the floor.

End flashback

"Don't wake him" hichi hissed at the maid. He was just heading downstairs when he saw her about to wake lyin. Lyin though not as bad as him was not very nice to people who woke him up.

"But he needs to go down for breakfast they've been waiting for you for an hour." The maid replied.

Hichi wasn't really paying attention he was thinking of a way to wake lyin without touching him. He took lyins phone from the bedside and put it next to lyins head on the floor making sure he wasn't notice he then stepped outside of the room taking the maid with him. He called lyins phone with his own.

"What the…!"lyin woke with a start. "Who the eff …the lucky bastard put his number on private…"

Hichi was no idiot.

The maid walked back in. "good morning." she said politely.

"Good morning."lyin replied rubbing his forehead that was hurting for some reason.

"Why were you sleeping on the floor?" the maid asked again politely.

"I was sleeping on the floor?"Lyin asked dumfounded. The idiot was still on the floor yet he still felt the need to ask that question."I don't know" he answered the maids question while getting up.

"Okay then, their waiting for you downstairs "she replied, she hoped for his sake he was playing dumb.

"Who?" he asked 'who else?' the maid thought but replied nonetheless. "Your uncle aunt and cousin."

"Oh well I'll be down in a minute."

"Understood." And with that she left.

Five minutes later lyin walked down the stairs and headed to the dining room, there he saw everyone except hichi. He smelt all the delicious food at the table French toast, bacon, eggs …etc but unfortunately kushina wouldn't let anyone eat until they were all at the table. This annoyed naruto greatly and every so often he would grab something on the table, shove It in his mouth and act like he didn't do a thing, who the hell was he fooling. Hichi came down and headed to the table he was greeted with a chorus of "good morning!" 'oh god they got lyin acting all friendly' he thought.

"Mornin'" he replied.

"Hurry up and take a seat mom said she wasn't gonna let us eat till you were here." Naruto said all but choking on the toast in his mouth.

They all started eating, until, naruto started laughing for no apparent reason. They all stop to look at him.

"Whats so funny?"minato asked.

"Well everyone at the table is blonde except for mom." he replied

"So?"

"look, duck" he pointed at hichi "duck" he pointed at his dad "duck" he pointed at lyin "goo…oww"

He didn't finish, lyin, who was seated next to him had slapped him upside the head "that's disrespectful." That earned him a look of appreciation from kushina. He continued "I aint no duck."

Everyone stared at him; hichi reached over and smacked him upside the head.

"owww"

"Now you know what it feels like."naruto said laughing."Oww"

Hichi slapped him as well. Everyone at the table was laughing except the two idiots.

"Oh boys your misato gave me a message for you." minato began . All lyin could think about was the grounding. 'please kami sama let him forget 'he said in his mind. Minato continued "he said that your cars will be here next week and lyin," 'oh no here it comes' "he said he was sending your skateboards and stuff along with them."

"That it?"lyin asked

"Yeah"

Lyin breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh and did I mention the grounding?"

"No"

"Well you're grounded for two weeks"

'Damn it!'

After breakfast minato and kushina left for work and bakaru borrowed minatos mercedes and went out, leaving naruto and the twins alone.

"lyin ,hichi"

"yo"

"I got some friends coming over that I want you to meet so how about you go freshen up."

"Will we meet the famous hinata chan you were tellin us about?"lyin asked excitedly.

"Yup"

"Okay then"and with that they went upstairs.

Narutos P.O.V

I couldn't wait for hichi and lyin to meet everyone I had told them about each other but they had never met, though I bet with the descriptions I gave them they should be able to tell who is who. The doorbell rang."alright their here!"I rush to the door and open it,beating karen in the process, but instead of his friends he was met with a glare. It was kiziku the twins friend.

"Um..hey" naruto said.

"U..Um..A-are the twins here?" he asked stuttering.

"Yea they are their upstairs showering , you can come in and wat for them if you want."naruto offered.

"Nah, that's okay ill see them later "he said still glaring at naruto before he left.

'What's up with him, he was glaring at me like I was gonna rape him or sum'naruto thought.

Naruto closed the door and as soon as he got back to the living room the doorbell rang again. It was probably that creepy guy again he sighed and went to the door again. This time he saw his friends faces some smiling , sneering an one emotionless, he flashed them a grin and led them to the living room, In strolled his friend gaara, sasuke, sakura, neji, tenten, lee,temari,ino,shikamaru,chouji, shino, kiba and the love of his life hinata.

"Sup naruto "all the guys except neji ,lee ,gaara and just went "hn" neji said good afternoon , gaara just nodded and lee was shouting something about the noon of youth.

End P.O.V

"Hey naruto"

All the girls went except for hinata who walked up to him and gave hima a kiss on the cheek drawing a chorus of"awws" from the girls and deadly stares from neji and kiba. Naruto just rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and thought "where the hell are hichi and lyin?"

"So guys wats up"

He asked after a while.

"Oh we're just waiting to see those famous cousins of yours." ino went.

"Well theyre upstairs ,but if u wanna see them that badly just imagine me with my dad's hair and another me with shikamarus hair and voila hichi and lyin."

As soon as he finished that statement he heard a crash in his kitchen and chouji shouted something.

Narutos P.O.V

"naruto I think something broke"he said but I didn't have time to reply because at that moment I saw kiba push something in his pocket but then I noticed hichi had magically appeared in the room and was talking to ino and what the hell was that piece of paper she just handed him? but i still couldn't do anything because lyin came running in wearing nothing but a towel and he was wet. why the hell was he wet? And when did he get all those tattoos?and did he just wink at sakura?oh shit hinata just fainted, where the hell are neji and tenten and why is sasuke glaring? Why are the others just standing there?what the fuck did kiba just put in his pocket?and why the hell was lee shouting about youth?

End P.O.V

"Hold up a fucking minute!"naruto shouted." lyin go get dressed,hichi leave ino the fuck alone and gimme that" he grabbed the paper ino handed hichi and tore it." chouji ,tenten and neji get out here!"He shouted and chouji came out of the kitchen with his mom's favorite ice cream in hand while neji and tenten came out of the broom closet looking all flustered. Someone wake hinata and kiba if you don't put back whatever the hell it is you stole I swear ill reach in your pocket to get it myself and then im shoving it so far up your ass you'll choke on it!Everybody did as they were told, it's not every day you see a pissed off naruto. Lee, however, was still shouting about youth.

"Lee."

"Yes naruto?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"Okay."

"Now let's try again "he said.

After five minutes order was restored kiba returned what he stole he handed naruto an ashtray and a phone. "Why the hell would you steal an ashtray are you retarded? "naruto asked "and whose phone is this are you dumb its yours "he said handing the phone back to kiba."He turned to the rest of the group

"Now lets see if you can guess who's who from my descriptions "he stated

"the one with the tattoos and piercings is lyin which means the other one is hichi"they said except for hinata she was mumbling something about three naruto kuns as if she was in a trance, but who could blame her if it wasn't for the tattoos piercings and hair they would like clones of naruto without the whisker marks.

"Now it's your turn guys." he said

"Okay" they responded

"Well" hichi started. "the girl I was talking to with the blonde hair is ino I found out from the piece of paper naruto so rudely took away" at this he sent a glare in narutos direction." and the guy with the shades must be shino ,the pale eyed girl must be your girlfriend hinata." at this hinata and naruto blushed simultaneously. Then hichi looked at hinata "I know that baka naruto must be a handful""n-n-no not at all" she replied in a voice that lyin thought was befitting an angel "ok there's no way in hell I think sappy shit like that" everyone looked at him. "uh I mean the brunette in buns must be tenten and the guy she was in the closet with must be neji" blushes from tenten and neji.

"And the quiet redheaded dude in the back must be gaara and the dude passed out on the couch must be shikamaru" hichi continued.

"The girl who looks like she could probably kick my ass must be temari" lyin added

"The hell you just say?"temari asked roughly

"Nothing at all" lyin replied backing away. "uh, the pink haired girl must be sakura" he winked at her again earning him a growl from sasuke. "And you guys must be lee,kiba and chouji."he said pointing at them .

"So you must be sasuke" hichi said looking in sasukes direction.

"Wow naruto you were right he really does look like he has a six foot pole crammed up his as.."lyin began.

"LYIN!" naruto shouted

"What? Thats how you described him"

"No I didn't." he said giving lyin a look that meant 'shut up stupid'

"Yeah you did remember on the ph…."

"Moving on" naruto said smiling sheepishly ,sasuke was glaring harder now and if looks could kill naruto and lyin would've been dead a couple hundred times over.

"Why don't we all go hang out in town."naruto finished

"Okay"they all agreed. And so everyone piled out of the house save chouji and kiba. "you two " naruto looked in their direction.

"Yeah" the replied somewhat reluctantly.

"Get the fuck out of my house." And so they did, heads hanging and feet dragging as they went along. then naruto shouted"Karen!"

"yes " she said coming into the room.

"We're goin out for a while"

"Alright" she replied as naruto left the house.

"Ready to hit the road?" he asked when he joined the group

"Yeah!"They replied

"Just one question though" shikamaru started

"Hmm?"

"Why are kiba and chouji getting in a taxi?"He said gesturing with his thumb to the duo getting in a car behind him. "aren't they coming?"

"No"

"Why?"

"Cuz they pissed me off"

"Fair enough"

"Ok, before we leave, lemme take a photo." naruto said to the group.

He reached in his pockets,"wait a minute" he looked left and right "the bastard really did steal my phone ,when did he even…"he was cut short on the account of noticing the taxi pulling away.

"COME BACK!"He shouted as he took off after the taxi.

The rest of the group (minus a genuinely worried hinata) just looked at him the erupted in laughter.

'Naruto the world's biggest baka' they all thought.

'Then again they haven't really known lyin long enough' hichi thought.

'wait till they get to know me' Lyin thought with a smirk.


	3. pepsiramenthreatschickflicksawesome

Disclaimer: Naruto and everything related to it belongs to masashi kishimoto, we only own the ocs.

Erolyin – so uh yeah been gone for a long time huh,sorry about that been busy and hichisan has been slacking off way too much, but ignoring that we decided to continue this story for reasons yet uknown.

Lyin – oh so you had the guts to show yourself again huh, gimme one reason why I shouldn't kick your ass right now for ditching this story, even if it sucks!

Erolyin – well I own you and your life is literally in my hands.

Lyin - …good point.

Erolyin – anyway here you go check out chap 3 of our story read and review please, good or bad I accept em all with open arms!

Lyin- pervert, masochist, loser…

Erolyin- you know I can make it so you have a profound interest in guys right?

Lyin- …im very sorry.

…

Erolyin – wheres hichi?

…

Chapter 3

Two weeks had passed since lyin and hichi had arrived in Japan and since then lyin had broken a TV –

"Bakaruto what the hell are you doing?"

"My name is naruto and its called narration so leave me the hell alone. "

("That makes absolutely no fucking sense" Hichi thought to himself)

A lamp, a door, a shelf, four plates, an xbox (that still hurts), a computer, his wrist (he was in his room with the door locked so how he did it I don't wanna know)

"I told you guys, I was shifting the shelf, that's how it broke!"

And just last night he broke his leg and a coffee table-

"This isn't a narration this is a list of shit I broke!"

"Duh, cuz that's all you did since you got here!"

"Well if you weren't so goddamn boring maybe I wouldn't have had to do that stuff."

"Dammit lyin-"

"Both of you shut the hell up and Naruto get me a Pepsi from the fridge. " Said Hichi.

The three of them were currently in Naruto's living room watching TV.

"Get your own damn Pepsi, what do I look like."

Hichi was silent for a moment then spoke.

"Naruto you like ramen right?"

"You know I love ramen."

"Well," he said reaching into his cargo pants pocket."I just happen to have a pack of ramen in my pocket. "

Naruto's eyes widen.

'Why the hell does he have a pack of ramen in his pocket?' lyin thought

"You know I never really thought about it but, what would happen if I crushed this?" He starts applying pressure to his grip as he says this.

"Gasp!"

'did he just literally say the word gasp, instead of actually gasping?' Lyin thought.

Hichi's grip tightened

"Nnnnoooooo! Alright I'll get you the damn Pepsi just please spare the ramen."

Hichi returns the ramen to his pocket. "Make it a diet."

"Get me one too."Lyin says as Naruto gets up.

"Get your own your leg isn't broken." Naruto replies.

"Hello do you not see the cast?" Lyin says pointing at his leg.

"Oh, damnit." He begrudgingly goes to get the drinks.

The doorbell rings and Hichi goes to answer, and is greeted by Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji.

"Hey guys."

"Sup." Shikamaru replies.

"Hey."Ino replies winking.

"Yo." this from Chouji.

"Come in."He says giving them room (extra room in Chouji's case) so they could enter. They all head to the living room just as Naruto returns with the drinks. Hichi grabs the two cans from Naruto.

"Can you get some more please."He says tossing one to Lyin.

Naruto opens his mouth to retort but is silenced by Hichi Patting his pocket, he heads back to the kitchen mumbling under his breath.

"Hey it's Mr. narcoleptic, Ms gorgeous and the big guy. " Lyin says seeing the group enter.

"You know your nicknames are troublesome."Shikamaru says yawning and dropping onto the couch Naruto was preiously sitting on.

"Though they are accurate." Ino says as she takes a sip from Hichi's diet Pepsi.

"When did she…?"Hichi says staring at his empty hands.

Naruto returns still mumbling under his breath and hands everyone a drink raising an eyebrow at Hichi drinking from a can that Ino was holding.

"So lyin what happened to the leg and wasn't there a coffee table here."Shikamaru asked yawning and closing his eyes.

"Well let's just say there was this coffee table that my leg didn't get along with."

"I would press further but it's too troublesome."Shikamaru managed to get out as consciousness seeped away from him

"What's up guys?" Naruto asks turning to Chouji because Shikamaru was already Snoring and Ino and Hichi were currently play fighting over the can of pepsi.

"Nothing much we just came here because we wanted free food and a place to chill."Chouji blatantly stated unaware of Naruto already being pissed from being treated like a gopher.

'Did this fat piece of whatever kiba's goddamn dog dragged onto the front porch just admit he came to my house for free food? it's my house so it's my food goddamnit ' Naruto thought to himself his anger beginning to emit making everyone around him aware of his increasing anger.

"Naruto calm down remember the ramen."Hichi said whilst holding the can of Pepsi over his head, from his position on the floor, Ino took this opportunity to lunge her body on his, the sensation of her soft bre-

"Bitch get the fuck out of my house! " Naruto shouted interrupting Hichi's perverted thoughts.

"Naruto what the hell has been up with you lately, this is the second time I'm being unceremoniously thrown out of your house." Chouji said a bit saddened by the turn of events.

"Chouji man I'm sorry I didn't mean to unceremoniously throw you out of my house, sayonara Chouji san, was that ceremonious enough for you? Now, get the fuck out of my house!" Naruto shouted.

Not noticing that nobody was paying any attention to him or Chouji.

"By the way where the hell is Lyin?" He asked no one in particular.

As he finished that question everyone was alert, Ino and Hichi stopped messing around, Chouji stopped crying and Shikamaru woke up.

Hichi went to the place where lyin was last seen, the couch, he sniffed the air like a hunting dog then his nose crinkled.

"Choji can you take a step back, oh and I think you should buy a new deodorant."

"What is wrong with you blonde peop…."

Hichi tuned him out and sniffed again.

"He couldn't have gone far, he's…." he paused for dramatic effect,"wounded."

Everyone except Naruto and Shika gasped.

Naruto leaned closer to Shika. "He is talking about lyin's broken leg, right?"

"Yea." Was all Shika replied.

"Gasp!"

_Wherever Lyin was in the house. _

Lyin rolled over in his sleep.

"Naruto, you don't say gasp, you gasp for real….baka."

_Back to the group_.

"Usually when tracking wild animals you check their normal watering holes." Hichi stated heading to the kitchen.

"So Lyin is a wild animal now?"Naruto asked as the group followed Hichi.

They searched the kitchen high and low but no sign of Lyin.

"Hmmm, the other place animals go is their nest."Hichi said heading now for Lyin's room.

"Seriously Hichi, why is Lyin an animal to you?"

They got to Lyin's room but still no Lyin.

"Hmm, the last place an animal would go is dark places to hide from predators."Hichi said looking left and right.

"So we're predators now?" Naruto asked but was ignored as Hichi spotted a broom closet and walked towards it.

Their footsteps could be heard echoing down the hall from the broom closet Lyin was sleeping in, he woke up, what the hell is wrong with them cant a dude get some shut eye without those bakas interrupting?

"We are approaching the animals current habitat, be warned wild Lyins can be very violent when territorial so be extremely careful."Hichi commented.

"So this is a documentary now?"Naruto ranted.

As soon as they got close to the closet the door flew open and Lyin started waving one of the brooms at them like he was mad.

"….well?"Naruto asks looking at Hichi.

"Well what?"

"Aren't you gonna make an animal documentary comment?"Naruto asks.

"Nah I give up it's annoying."

Naruto was going to make a comment but he noticed Lyin walking towards him swinging a broom, wait, walking?

"Lyin I thought your leg was broken, where are your crutches?"

Lyin stopped swinging and screaming and looked at his leg.

"hey," he said stamping his leg," it doesn't hurt anymore."

At that moment Minato came walking down the hall.

"What's with all the noise?" he asks looking at Lyin, because that's what you do when you're looking for the source of a problem, look at Lyin.

"Minato what's up I thought the doctor said my leg was broken."Said a pissed off Lyin completely ignoring all honorifics.

'Damn it, did he find out I paid the doctor to tell him his leg was broken and put it in a cast?'

"I do now!"Lyin erupted.

"Wait I said that out loud?"Minato said panicking.

"Dad you should really stop thinking out loud." Naruto commented.

"Why would you do something like that?"Lyin asked still pissed.

"Well you managed to break a lot of the stuff in the house in just two weeks, so I needed some way to have you relax for a while."

"You didn't have to be so extreme….."

At this point everyone had gotten bored of Lyin hunting and decided to return to the living room. Shikamaru went back to sleeping on the couch Hichi sat across from him on the other couch and Ino sat next to him leaving Chouji and Naruto on the third one. Hichi picks up can of Pepsi and just as he brings it to his lips Ino snatches it from him, they then resume their messing around.

"Did I miss the part when ino and Hichi became such good friends?"Naruto asks after a while.

"What do you mean?"Ino asks holding Hichi in what she thought was an effective headlock; Hichi however was only still there because of the fact that his face was currently nestled in the bosom of a well endowed girl.

"Well you've been awfully friendly lately considering he's only been here for two weeks—damn it Hichi get your head outta there!"

"Naruto, just because we play around doesn't mean anything."Ino says letting go of Hichi.

"Yeah truth is I think Ino's a cool girl so I can have fun with her."Hichi says as he lifts his head.

"And I think Hichi's a great guy who I can have fun with. I also think lyin is funny and I have fun with him too."

"Well okay, if you say so."Naruto said but in his mind was thinking 'Like I'd believe that bull, I see what you're trying to do there Ino.'

At that moment everyone else walks into the living room.

"Hey guys who let you in?" Naruto asks looking up.

"Hinata did, she is your wife isn't she?" Sakura says smirking.

Hinata's face flushes at this and she tries to say something but all she can do is stutter out a soft "S-sakura san."

"As if, if this idiot even thinks of trying to marry Hinata I'll kill him."

Everyone stares at Neji, including a genuinely scared Naruto.

"Well since everyone's here how bout we all go to the movies." Sakura suggests.

"Gaara what the hell are you doing?" everyone asked watching Gaara poke Chouji.

"Poking this guy he looks like he was crying." Gaara said expressionlessly.

"Lyin why the fuck did you join?" They asked, Gaara's poking was annoying the hell out of Chouji but Lyin was deliberately jamming his now useless crutches in Chouji's ribcage.

"Because Gaara's my homie." Lyin states matter of factly.

"Anyway," Sakura continued over the now balling Chouji whilst Lyin and Gaara continued poking him Lyin kind of getting out of hand asking Chouji to squeal like a pig at random intervals. "So anybody up for the movies?"

"Depends, what movie we gonna go watch?" Sasuke asked expecting the worst.

Lyin stopped poking Chouji to hear what Sakura was gonna say, Chouji continued crying so Lyin stuffed the crutches in his mouth it didn't stop him from crying immediately because the end of the crutches were small, it was when he started chewing on it that he stopped crying .

"As I was saying," Sakura started again" the movie's called distant lovers."

"Chick flick." all the guys groaned.

"What did you just say?"Sakura said sending them an evil glare.

"We said quick silk." lyin stated as stupidly as possible so stupid that every single girl there felt less affronted at the extent of lyins stupidity. Well everyone except Hinata lyin thought she wasn't even offended at the mere mention of the girls provocative film about blossoming love being passed off as a mere chick flick, Hinata the beautiful stutter-

"Lyin how the hell did you break your leg by the way?"Sasuke asked trying his damndest to change the topic not knowing that was exactly Lyin was doing in his head.

'I'm Lyin Namikaze godamnit I don't think about shit like that especially not about my cousins girlfriend ' Lyin continued totally ignoring Sasuke's question .

"Hichi I think his broken can u fix him" Sasuke asked.

"Ly-ly-lyin-kun ar-are u aright " Hinata asked sweetly .

"He seems to be functioning properly cuz his still holding the crutches in Chouji's mouth" Hichi added "let me reboot him." with this he cocked his hand back and swung as hard as he could, Lyin practically somersaulted out of his coma like trance .

"What the fuck was that "lyin shouted, Hinata blushed heavily at the use of such fowl language.

"Hina chan cover your ears don't let him corrupt you" Naruto said quickly running to protect his 'hina cahn' from lyin's potty mouth.

He was stopped midstride by Neji, who saw this as Naruto using this as an opportunity to get way to close to his little cousin. 'why the hell did Neji trip me I have a feeling he is secretly in love with my Hina hime that long haired cuz-con.' that's when Naruto noticed his house was once again in a state of chaos; Lyin and Hichi were arguing, shika and Temari had disappeared to god knows where , Sakura and Sasuke were talking about the 'chick flick', Tenten was scolding Neji for tripping him, Hinata had rushed to his side the moment he fell and was currently helping him up(bless her soul), he couldn't believe what was going on and what was even more shocking was since Lyin had started arguing with Hichi he gave Gaara the crutches to continue poking Chouji and he was just acting plain creepy pulling the crutches out from time to time to hit Chouji with it, Shino was standing there silently with Kiba and Lee was once again, shouting about youth.(when did the three of them show up? He thought)

"What the hell is going on?"Minato and Kushina erupted as they entered their living room everyone stopped what they were doing.

Everyone stopped arguing and Shikamaru and Temari appeared from behind the couch Shika's face covered with lipstick.

Naruto opened his mouth to speak but was silenced by his mother raising her hand, She put her hand in Minato's back pocket and pulled out his wallet, "Here" she said handing Naruto some bills she took out of the wallet,"Take your friends out to eat or to a movie or something I don't care, just get the hell out of my house."

"Uh dear my mon…."Minato began but was silenced by a stern glare.

Naruto silently took the money, albeit reluctantly and just as silently ushered his friends out of the front door which Kushina closed with an enthusiastic slam.

"Okayyyy…."was all they could say as they stared at the door.

"Well everyone I guess that means its movie time!"Said Sakura enthusiastically.

"Uh yeah no, you guys go to the movies we'll go hang at an arcade or something." Lyin said taking a few bills from Naruto and walking away with Sasuke, Kiba, Gaara and Lee. Lyin pulled out his phone and called Kizu, who reluctantly agreed to meet them there.

"Well suit yourselves."Naruto said shrugging and walking in the opposite direction with everyone following, including a reluctant Hichi being dragged by Ino.

_Hichis group_

When they got to their destination, Sakura bought the tickets, they got their drinks and pop corn and all took their seats in the theatre, which was surprisingly empty.

From the time they got to the theatre, they had already split up into groups Naruto/Hinata, Hichi/Ino, Tenten/Neji, Shika/Temari and Chouji/Shino/Sakura though there was a bit of awkwardness surrounding the last group. They hadn't even gotten through the ads before Neji and Tenten had started making out and at the first kiss scene Temari turned to Shika only to find him passed out and snoring prompting her to punch him in the face, Naruto had his hand on Hinata's but she quickly pulled it away to cover her face at a sex scene, Ino had her head on Hichi's shoulder the whole time but all Hichi was concerned about was the fact that he was sure Lyin's group was having a lot more fun than he was. As for Chouji, Sakura and Shino, they just sat there silently, an awkward feeling still emanating from them. Chouji wanted to break the silence."So uh..." he began but was cut off by Shino "Please don't, at least let me save some of my dignity.""Yeah I'm with bug boy."Sakura agreed Chouji made no further attempt at communication throughout the rest of the movie. Sakura was reconsidering the whole movie thing seeing as her plan was to go with Sasuke, however it took her until she got to the theatre to realize that he wasn't there, so her thoughts were somewhere between violently reprimanding him or gushing over how shy he was, in the form of:"that Sasuke, I'll teach him to ditch me, though Sasuke is shy he might just have panicked and ran away, that Sasuke."(This was accompanied by an image a completely out of character Sasuke sporting a blush and half lidded eyes.)Everyone stopped whatever they were doing when they noticed Sakura's mood swings and had the same thought 'Dumb fan girls'.

_Lyin's group_

Sasuke for some reason that he couldn't understand sneezed and felt a chill run down his spine. He looks behind him 'Why do I sense fangirlism?'He thinks to himself.

"Sasuke stop daydreaming and hurry up!"Lyin exclaims.

Sasuke turns 'I'll have to watch my back.'

_Back to Hichi's group_

About three quarters through the movie Tenten got up "I'm going to the bathroom."And with that she left her seat, not 5 minutes later Neji did the same and they were not heard from again. Twenty minutes later the movie was over and they all left the movie complex, however the only people happy were Naruto, Hinata, Ino and in some hotel a few blocks away Tenten and Neji. Temari was pissed and walked away silently with a yawning Shikamaru with a bruised nose going on about 'troublesome women' in tow, Chouji and Shino stalked of silently still sporting their air of awkwardness, Sakura on the other hand had long since lost that and was still shifting from smiles to violence harboring scowls, she started to walk off but no one was sure where she was headed. Hichi was desperately trying to call Lyin but kept getting voicemail and it wasn't helping that Ino was still clinging to his arm, eventually he gave up an opted to drop Ino off at home and meet Naruto back at his place when he dropped off Hinata.

_Lyin's group_

The gang was in Sasukes suv driving to the arcade after picking up Kizuku at his grandparents house he was still eyeing everyone curiously except Lyin.

Ok Sasuke just realized something strange there were 6 of them and his suv had 8 seats so why the hell did Lyin go all the way to the back which he pretty much stated bluntly.

At which Lyin replied a bleak."Working on somthin'."

Not wanting to inquire further I mean it was Lyin we were talking about and all the while he could feel a pair of eyes just staring at him it was the twins' weird friend.

"Hey Gaara borrow me your knife. " Lyin stated not asked.

Everyone turned and everyone besides Gaara and Lyin and Lee ( who was going on about some dude named guy) said a bleak "I don't wanna know "well just Kizu, Kiba and Sasuke.

"Which one?"Gaara responded taking out 8 knives from his pocket.

"Swiss army knife please." Lyin said with a cackle taking the knife from Gaara who had magically appeared in one of the back seats.

"What are you doing?"Gaara asked extremely curious as to what the blonde was doing managing to keep his emotionless tone while sounding curious . The moment he noticed what Lyin was up to his face morphed into a crooked smile.

They were 4 blocks away from the mall where the arcade was at and Sasuke abruptly stopped nearly causing Lyin to cut himself.

Sasuke for some reason that he couldn't understand sneezed and felt a chill run down his spine. He looks behind him 'Why do I sense fangirlism?'He thinks to himself.

"Sasuke stop daydreaming and hurry up!"Lyin exclaims, really not wanting a mishap which would cause him to lose his fingers.

The 4 block drive was completely uneventful except for Lyin's dark rumblings about wanting to kill his uncle while he worked on whatever he was doing.

The moment they arrived everyone piled out of the car and for some reason Gaara went to the back to check on Lyin.

"By the way I was meaning to ask why you carried a second shoe when you have a cast and clearly aren't able to use it." Sasuke asked.

At that exact moment Gaara appeared his smile as crooked as ever." Look at the monster I have unleashed on you all."

(this is for readers, I know we haven't incorporated all the guys or girls into the story well not exactly that more or less the fact we didn't give them airtime and those we do put in are completely random but that's just because we wanted you all to get a feel of the story (and to get the feel of writing a story) and of lyin and hichi first but starting from now me and hichisan are gonna make things right we will give everyone airtime, except bakaru he's an ass)

"Screw u Erolyin you could have done this in the chapter introduction!"Lyin shouted.

To which everyone completely spaced out, isn't his name Lyin then why the hell did he add ero in front of it what the hell?

Ok really what the fuck is up with this guy, everyone thought to themselves really scared to find out.

"I have about 2 days to make up for!", Lyin exclaimed .

The guys took one last look at Lyin shook their heads and just said lets go.

The group entered the mall with Sasuke leading as they looked around the first thing they noticed was that Lyin already disappeared.

They all muttered together "Ahh baka." the moment the word baka was uttered they heard a noise in the store nearest to them a sportin goods store. Then they saw the telltale mark of destruction a flash of blond hair, they ran into the store to see what was going on

Lyin was debating skateboard prices with a –

"very very very very very very very"the group looked at each other all wondering if lee was broken "very very very ve-" 'SMACK!' a skateboard collided with the back of his head accompanied by a "I'll pay for that." everyone just stopped and stared as Gaara walked up to the cashier, pulling out his wallet leaving a dazed Lee on the ground.

The cashier was beginning to get worried, out of the blue some blonde boy shows up and is asking her to lower prices and now another one is smashing their merchandise in people's heads? 'Am I about to get robbed?' was all she thought as she tried her best to deal with their new 'customers'.

"lyin." Sasuke began, "I don't see why you're trying to get a discount your family is rich and this isn't that expensive anyway, not mention the fact that I'm completely not bothering to ask why you need a skateboard."

"Hmmm, you're right." Lyin said walking away from the register towards the door.

Just as the cashier breathed a sigh of relief he grabbed a board and ran out throwing it down and skating away screaming "ROADTEST!" Immediately followed by a sinisterly smirking Gaara to which Sasuke could only face palm as he also grabbed a board and followed Lyin causing the rest of the group to do the same. All the while the cashier could only stare at the door with her jaw dropped before she came to and shouted, "SECURITY!"

…_._

Erolyin- so yeah we'll stop here for to read and revie-

Hichisan – wtf did you just force these people to read.

Erolyin- I was wondering where you were, and since you've been so useless lately I did this chap myself, hows that!

Hichisan- are you kiddin me we only managed to get two unsigned reviews for the first two chaps and now you go and post this? even those two readers (who thank you by the way I know I must've been hard to lie like you did about thinking this was anything like a good fic) are gonna completely ignore this fic.

Erolyin- Relax man I got this. Review please show hichisan that I got writing talent!

Hichisan – someone please tell this idiot his writing sucks.

Erolyin- to be continued soon, and SCREW YOU HICHI!

…

Strangling sounds


	4. i am mall king

Disclaimer: Naruto and everything related to it belongs to masashi kishimoto, we only own the ocs.

Hichisan – yo, it's me this time doin the chap.

Erolyin – yeah and it's shorter than the rest.

Hichisan – so what I did my best.

Erolyin – Yeah right you lazy bastard.

Hichasin – im gonna ignore that for now. anyway read and review please ,it seems like theres this trend with only one person saying anything on the chaps, but we know how many people read. Say something dammit anything will do.

Erolyin - hah. You just jealous our last reviewer, himynamis, agreed with me by the way make an account man…or woman, whichever. But yeah readers let us know what you think….and SCREW YOU HICHI!

…

Strangling sounds

….

Chapter 4

Lyin blazed through the mall weaving through the shoppers with a huge grin plastered on his face. He jumped stairs, escalators, grinded hand rails and basically did any stunt you could possibly do in a mall on a skateboard occasionally shouting at the top of his lungs random lines like, "Thank god for large malls!", or "I AM MALL KING!" and at one point he stopped to say "yeah lady you should seriously buy that shampoo your hair looks like shi-" he didn't finish that one on the count of having to skate away to avoid getting hit in the head by a shampoo bottle.

By this time Gaara and the others were starting to catch up and everyone was actually enjoying committing misdemeanors, even Sasuke was grinning his emo grin as he grinded down a stair rail.

Their little escapade was short lived though because men in blue uniforms who they guessed were mall security made moves to try to stop and catch them and there was nothing nice about having a grown slightly overweight man swiping his arm at you,, that shit was as thick as a tree trunk.

Lyin paid no mind to the security guards and just sped past them gloating as he did that was until he turned he saw a huge ass security guard standing in his way and he had to stop.

"What the hell do you brats think you're doing here?"

"Uh..skating?"

"Don't you know that you can't skate inside a mall are you stupid or something?"

"No and… no?"

"That was a rhetorical question!"

"And I gave you a rhetorical answer."

"Boy do I look like I'm playing with you?"

"Ah, whatever! Look here mallcop I ain't lookin' for no beef."

"Beef? Do I look like I have beef to you?"

'Cant this guy speak without yelling?'Lyin thought to himself, and then an idea hit him like a bullet."Look it's spider pig! " he shouted pointing behind the security guard.

"What,where?" he asked turning around but realizing it was a trick he turned back only for Lyin to pull his pants down and skate away laughing his ass off. He tried to pull his pants back up but he stumbled and fell and ass this happened a little boy pointed at him and went:

"Look mom a grownup who still wears tighty whities!"

"Don't stare at him honey, look away." Was all the boy's mother said before taking her sons hand and walking away hurriedly.

As the security guard lay on the ground squirming trying in vain to pull his pants up five more skaters blazed by jumping over him where he lay two of them shouting "yahoo!"(Kiba) and "For youth!"(Duh) causing him to reach the limit of his patience.

"DAMN BRATS!"

_Sasukes P.O.V_

I'm skating along behind Gaara trying to catch up to that idiot Lyin, I don't know what possessed me to actually follow this fucking Naruclone on crack but I did, though, and I'll deny it till I die, I'm actually having fun. Huh? Why did Gaara just jump? As soon as the thought manifests I see it some grown ass man laying on the ground with his pants down, I jump over him and only one thing comes to mind.

'Lyin is gonna get us all arrested.'

_End P.O.V_

The others finally managed to catch up to Lyin.

"Lyin please tell me how the hell you managed to rope me into your felony charges." Sasuke said skating next to Lyin.

"Sorry Sascakes that was all you."Lyin replied grinning.

"Sascakes?" but no reply came as they all had to stop suddenly they came to the end of the mall and in front of them was a huge billboard with maps of the mall and other notices pinned up.

"Looks like we got to the end guys!" Lyin said turning to the group, but they all had their eyes somewhere else and following their line of sight he saw a swarm of about a dozen blue uniforms line up behind them surrounding them.

"Well ain't that about a big bitch." Was all Lyin could say as he eyed the group of men before them.

"You guys think they'd let us of if we said sorry?" Lyin asked rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"Look at them do they look like the type of nice people who would let us off with an apology they look like we ran over their kids or something." Kizu said before pausing and looking at Lyin with Kiba, Lee and Sasuke following suit.

"What I didn't run over any kids." Lyin said holding his hands up in defence.

They all look to Gaara and…he turns his head and avoids all eye contact.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"I just hope I don't share my cell with a big guy named Bob." Was all Sasuke said as he face palmed.

"All of you put the boards down and come with us."One of the guards said stepping forward.

Lyin stepped forward as well."You guys up for pulling the greatest fucking escape ever?" he asked not even looking at the group.

Gaara stepped forward silently.

"Too bad Hichi isn't here he actually might have been able to talk us outta this." Kizu said stepping forward as well.

Lee jumped forward and gave his nice guy pose "Yes, in the springtime of youth moments like this are sure to arise!"

"Heh this aint my first time running from authority." Kiba said grinning and stepping forward.

…

"Here I come prison system."

"What was that Sasuke?" Lyin asked.

"Nothing let's just get outta here, hn." He replied putting on his usual emo airs and stepping forward.

Then they all skated.

And actually managed to weave their way through the group of mallcops chasing them, not that that got them out of cold water, there were still others running at them trying to get them and having to get off the boards to get up the stairs and escalators created many close calls for the group of young deviants. Though they were almost out as they could see the exit, they put their all into going as fast as they could with Sasuke leading followed by Kiba and an excitedly screaming Lee then Kizu with Gaara and Lyin in the rear.

Sasuke reached the exit and tossed the board in the store where he took it and ran for the car, not long after Kiba and Lee followed, then Kizu. Gaara dropped his off and waited at the door, Lyin was almost there but out of nowhere the wind was knocked out of him and he fell off his board flying into a box of baseballs and bats outside the sporting goods store.

"The fuck .." he wheezed trying to breathe and looking up, and he saw the mallcop from before whose pants he had pulled down.

"Eheheheh.." he laughed sheepishly at the big fuming man.

"I got you now brat!" he exclaimed staring down at Lyin way more pissed off than Lyin would've liked.

"Can we talk about this?" Lyin asked as picked himself up.

"…"

"Guess not."

The mallcop made to grab Lyin but just as he did Lyin jumped back and yelled "Look out!"

"Like I'd fall for that agai-ah! " the mallcop shouted as a baseball hit him in the back of the head. He turned and saw Gaara still with his arm extended.

"YOU BRRRAAAA-" he didn't finish that sentence either because Lyin had once again pulled his pants down causing him to topple over.

Lyin jumped over him and headed for the door before turning and running inside the sporting goods store, he dropped some of the money he took from Naruto on the counter.

"Rental fee." He shouted winking at the cashier as he ran out stopping near the grounded mallcop once more and throwing a twenty at him.

"Here get yourself a fucking belt." Were his parting words as he and Gaara headed for the car Lyin trying to slide on the hood to get to the other side but failing and falling on his face before climbing in as Sasuke sped off. The mall cop stared at the sliding door in shock as it closed. The boy from earlier with his mother were passing by and once again the he beckoned her.

"Look mom it's tighty whity man again!" he said pointing to the defeated mall cop.

"What did I say earlier." Was all the woman said as she once again grabbed his hand a walked off.

The mallcop took a deep breath and cocked his head back.

"FUCKING BBBRRRAAATTTSSS!"

_Sometime later at the Naruto's house_

Sasuke pulled up outside Naruto's place and dropped Lyin off.

"Thanks man, we gotta do this again sometime, right?"

Sasuke's response was to push down on the accelerator and drive away. Lyin just stared and shrugged and walked into the house.

"Everywhere I go, bitches always know that Lyin Namikaze's gotta weenie that he loves to show." Lyin sang walking down the hallway heading to the living room with Hollywood undead's, 'everywhere I go' blazing out his headphones.

"Everywhere I go…oh hey everybody I'm back." He said addressing Minato, Kushina, Naruto and Hichi who Lyin noted seemed a little moody.

"Lyin what are you singing in my house? Gosh you teens and your derogatory songs." Kushina said shaking her head.

"Derogatory? No this is a rock rap song. "

"Lyin she means…." Minato began but was silenced by Hichi putting his hand on his shoulder and shaking his head.

"So Lyin you have fun at the mall?"

"YE..uh"Lyin was gonna say yes but after thinking about the groups escapade he thought against it, he didn't want them asking questions he didn't wanna answer.

"It was alright we didn't do much though."

"Oh ok."

"By the way, how many malls are there in Konoha?"

"There are a few all over, why do you wanna know?" Naruto asked surprised at Lyins question.

"Uh, no reason. _It's just I don't think I'll ever be able to go back to that one_."He mumbled that last part as he sat down and resumed his singing.

…

Hichisan- …hm? That's it.

Erolyin - that's all you did you lazy ass? You know what, im kicking you off of this story.

Hichisan – well cool later.

Erolyin- wait im kidding (damn you).

Hichisan - that's what I thought.

Erolyin –yeah yeah, anyway once again hit that review button down there and type something, anything, it doesn't really matter. Till next time.

Hichisan – theres a next time?

Erolyin – im just gonna ignore you.


End file.
